Hello! I can remember a long time ago the two things I didn't like about myself. They were my skinny legs & my boney shoulders. There were two people that use to make fun of those things constantly & I developed a complex years ago. My aunt use to tease me about my legs. She would say what's that hanging from your skirt & I would look & she would say, oh that's just two strings hanging. It would hurt my feeling. This girl would say, Clarice, if you didn't have a butt & hips, you would be so skinny. She would say I can't believe you have on shorts with those little legs. I stopped wearing shorts after that. She had really nice legs & she didn't have a butt or hips, but I never teased her. I'm not like that. I didn't care how hot it was, I wouldn't put on a pair of shorts. It's crazy because I would wear a dress or skirt, but never felt funny about wearing them. It was just shorts. It's amazing how it takes something major to happen to you for your eyes to be opened. I remember watching The Oprah Winfrey Show when Halle Berry was on there & she spoke of the things she didn't like about herself & Oprah told her wait until you turn 40, you will learn to embrace & love you. Halle was on her show after she turned 40 & told Oprah she was right. She said she had so much confidence & was loving herself. Oprah was so right! I'll get back to that later. I had to have surgery in my chest due to Cancer & I had a big scar after the surgery. I was upset about that, but I got over it. I would never wear a strapless dress or tube top, because I thought I was to skinny up top & my bones stood out. After my Cancer treatment in 2010, I decided that I was going to wear strapless dresses, tube tops, shorts & strapless jumpsuits. I remember this day like it was yesterday. My husband said I thought you didn't like tops like this. I said I didn't, but I do now. He said what about your scar. I said it's a battle scar & I made it through. I felt a little funny at first, but I started to feel confident & my friend said to me, that I was the perfect size to wear stuff like that. I saw the girl who use to tease me about wearing shorts & she said I can't believe you're wearing shorts. I said I am & I'm loving my little petite legs. She looked shocked. It did tickle me. Lol! I remember going to the Dr in 2008 & asking how to gain weight. I had always felt too small. He said something so profound, that I had to think long & hard. His words were: Clarice, you're the perfect size! He said do you know how many women would die to be your size & the lengths they go through. He said you're fine, don't worry about that. The older women get, it get's harder to keep weight off & you're not having that problem, so don't worry about it. He said you would look crazy with big legs & bigger shoulders. So, 2010 those words came back to me big time. During Chemo in 2009, I had to take steroids for seven days every three weeks until I was done with Chemo. Those steroids made me hungry all the time. I had snacks on my night stand & I would roll over in my sleep & eat with my eyes closed. I gained nine pounds & those pounds were so hard to get off! I see what my Dr meant. My butt & hips had gotten so big. If you put a pin in me, it looked like I would pop! My breast had even gotten bigger. I had to go up a bra size. I couldn't believe what was happening. I did lose the weight, but it took years. I realized that this is who I am. My mother is very petite & I take after her. I started embracing my body & loving it! The girl who use to tease me said that I was the same size as I was back then & all of them are gaining weight. She wanted to be my size. Every other time I would talk to her, she made reference to my weight, because she was gaining. I started embracing this at 38. I'm 40 now & I love my boney shoulders & my little legs! I wouldn't change it for the world. Oprah was right. When u get 40, things change & you feel more like a woman than ever before. She said your confidence shoots through the roof. I can't believe I let other's keep me stagnant! Never again! I thank God for opening my eyes. No one is perfect & we need to realize this & accept what God gave us. When we are in our 20's & 30's, we are so self conscious of every flaw. I don't like this or that, but God made us in his image. If he wanted me to have bigger legs, I would have them. If he wanted you to have something else, he would've given them to you. Embrace what you have & make the best out of it. I would've been so self conscious years ago to wear a top & show my scar. Who cares! Ask me about & I will be proud to tell you how I got the scar & I'm a survivor! I'm going to continue to love what God gave me! It's a great feeling to feel free! I'm not ashamed to admit my story to no one. It took Cancer to open up my eyes. I've always had confidence about myself. I just let insecure people get in my head. I'll never make that mistake again! I realized life was too short to be living in a box. I celebrate me! I've been through a lot to get to this point in my life & I am living my life & wearing my shorts & strapless dresses showing off my boney shoulders, etc. Love what you have & don't change for no one, but yourself. Change for the better & not because someone said this isn't perfect. Nothing on this earth is perfect, remember that. I remember these lyrics, I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a little bit smaller. Whatever! My legs are just right for my frame. Wisdom is the best! People are going to talk & try to put you down, but remember to love you 1st & none of that will matter. I look in the mirror & I love what I see looking back! It's been a journey, but I made it through. That's my story & I embrace it. I hope it will help someone, somewhere. Love to all!
