Forgiving & moving forward

Hello, I was watching a movie called: A Cross To Bear & this movie triggered so many emotions in me. I had been harboring some things, that I know I had no control over for 20 years! I would think about them from time to time & get sad! I would talk about them with my friend & that was it. She would tell me to forgive myself. I knew I had to let go. I would go years without thinking of these things, but they were always lurking in the back of my head. This movie made me see some things in a different light & I had my AWW HA moment! Things happen for a reason. I know this, but I still thought about it. I let it go today & said the past is the past & I'm done! I forgive me!!! Don't believe the hype! We all have things in our past that we aren't proud of, but let the past be the past! The past can't define our future! It will if you let it! I never let my past determine my future, but I thought about it a lot. I'm not giving it no more energy! I'm done! Mistakes were made & there's no time machine that can take us back to fix the mistakes, so we have to get over it! Point blank! Just that simple! It's amazing how God will send you a message through a movie! Thank you father!!! I get it! Light bulb moment! I hope you listen to this message & maybe you can help yourself or someone! Have a Blessed night & love to all!!!
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People should learn to support each other & stop the hate!

Hello! I realized that life is short & other people need to realize this as well. I value spending time with my husband & kids! I wouldn't trade that for the world! Some people will turn on you in a heart beat, but when you have love & supportive people in your corner, the people that turned on you won't even matter! Like the book says, "Stop sweating the small stuff" We have to be there for each other! When your in need you want someone to be there for you, so when you have a friend who needs someone to be there for them, be there! Whether, it's to talk, listen or hold a hand! People need to learn to get outside of themselves! I love the saying, "A friend indeed". Not a friend sometimes, but a friend in sickness & health! Good times & bad! I only have people in my life that's good for me & I'm good for them! I had to let go of negative people! We need to encourage each other, not tear each other down! If u can't be true to someone, get out the way! I was thinking & wanted to share. Hate is disease filled & kills!!! Love heals & adds to your life! Please keep the love flowing! Have a Blessed night & love to all!
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Feeling GREAT!!!

I'm relaxing & reflecting over my life. I had a "me" day yesterday & it felt great! I felt awesome! I didn't ge tired or weary. I love days like that! I was told it takes a couple of years to start feeling normal after Cancer. It's been 2 years for me & almost back to normal. I feel better than I did pre Cancer! I've changed a lot of things in my life for the better. I made reference to a few things such as eating fruit, which I touched on in a couple of my Blogs. Everything is better as far as my body. Skin, immune system, etc. I take vitamins & watch what I eat. I've never been a junk food eater, but I would eat some things that were not good for me. I want to see my children grow up & live their lives, so I'm doing everything possible to make that happen! I ask the question, is eating whatever more important than your health. I think not! I remember when I was at my sickest, I use to just say, I just want to feel good & be able to get out the bed & go to the grocery store. I know that sounds weird to some, but I get pleasure out of grocery shopping for my family. I get pleasure out of the simple things in life! I just wanted to be able to cook a meal & feel good doing that. People take health & feeling good for granted! A sick person would trade places with you in a heart beat! Think about it! Before you complain about a simple ache, think about that person that is really sick or dying! Your little ache isn't nothing compared to their pain! I use to complain all the time to the point where my family/friends didn't believe something was seriously wrong with me when I told them something was seriously wrong with me! I felt something wasn't right! I know my body & I had never been in that kind of pain! I knew it & I was right! I was afraid, but never told a soul! I think twice before I complain about anything, because it could be worse! I couldn't drive or anything! There was a point when my husband had to bathe me! I cried when that happened! I never thought at 37, my husband would have to bathe me! He said that's what I'm here for! I stopped crying & looked at him & said ok! Thank God for my husband! Can you imagine not being able to bathe yourself? I'm a shower girl & I couldn't shower because I was too weak to stand up! My husband would have to help me out the tub when I was able to bathe myself. He had to dress me, etc! I'm so thankful to be healthy! You may take bathing & getting dressed for granted, but I don't! I appreciate every little thing! Health is wonderful! I would pray for good days! When I got good day, I cherished them to the fullest! My husband, the kids & I went to the Outlet's & I was in the store with them & I couldn't stand any longer, so I went to the car. This was during Chemo. I went to the car & cried my heart out! I just wanted to school shop with them as usual! I had a scarf on because I lost my hair & I took it off because my head was hurting. I just wanted to relax! I saw them coming & I put it back on. I didn't want my kids to see my head at the time. My daughter saw my head & just looked at me & my son said it doesn't look bad! I think about that moment a lot & realized that hair grows back! I had to fight to be there for them! Once I finished Chemo & started Radiation, I was doing a count down to my last treatment. I had 20 treatments of Radiation. I knew my recovery process would be long & sometimes hard! Radiation didn't hurt, it just made me extremely tired! I couldn't even lift my arms, I was so tired! I cried a lot during that time! I just wanted to feel good! I had to let it out! You have to cry & release those feelings. Holding it in, makes you sicker! My husband would be driving me home from treatment & I would cry silently! I couldn't believe I was 37 & going through that! It has taken me 2 years to get to this point in my life. I still have leg pain from time to time due to Chemo! It's side effects to Chemo & Radiation, but I'm doing great! I can deal with little things! I have life! That's all that matters! Thank you Jesus! I take each day & give thanks for feeling good! If I'm a little tired, guess what? I still give thanks! I just relax & take it easy! Appreciate your health & take care of your body! Not everyone is feeling great! Pray for our sick & shut in! Nobody wants to be sick! Remember that! I have a cause in life & I'm fighting for my cause & trying to spread awareness to this disease. If you've never had Cancer, don't try to assume or tell someone how they should feel! Please have compassion for other's. I can do things & take care of myself & my family again! Don't tell me God isn't good! Don't tell me to shut up about his goodness! Don't tell me to stop talking about my journey! I'm spreading the word! I'm doing me & I'm HEALTHY!!! Health is important! Take care of yourself! Have a Blessed day & Love to all!!! ;)

Life Change

Hello! I remember as a child my grandmother would stress how important it was to go to church. She would tell my brother & I stories that were in the Bible. She talked a lot about good & evil. She would tell us that we have to Pray. I still can remember all the stories she would tell us. Those stories made me into the person I am today. It's a lot of things I wouldn't & still won't do to this day. Those stories of good & evil kept me out of a lot of trouble! Thank God for my grandmother who taught me what my mother didn't! I remember not wanting to go to church this particular Sunday & my grandmother made me go. I was so mad at her! I had just gotten my Jheri Curl done & anyone who has ever had a Jheri Curl knows that your hair stays dry for 2 days, until the moisture set in. My hair was so dry & I was embarrassed by my hair. She said God doesn't care how you look. I went to church with an attitude & sat in the back of the Church. I think about that day & say to myself, she was so right! That was the child in me at the time. I was 11 years old at the time. God just wants us to serve him & spread the word. Who cares how u look or what you have on. My grandmother told me to always love God & he will always take care of you. She was so right! I turn to God for love & support! I wouldn't have never made it through without God's love! I share the stories my grandmother told me with my 2 kids. I didn't understand every story she told me at the time, but I get it now! My grandmother was a very spiritual woman. She went to church all the time & would pray all the time. She said she prayed before things would happen. She said you don't just go to The Father when things are bad. She said you pray when things are good as well. She said show God some appreciation. Everything she said came back full circle! My grandmother was a wise woman & I find myself turning into her. Lol! That's funny to say that! She had her moments, but she was as real as they get. My grandmother taught me how to pray at an early age. I taught my kids how to pray the same way. My daughter is a praying child! She'll pray at the drop of a hat! I remember going through Chemo & I would be having a really bad pain day & when my daughter would pray for me, I would feel so much better! A child shall lead the way! My grandmother would say to me keep living. I would say what does she mean. She said when you get older you will remember all of this. I do! God really is the source of everything! Turn to God for everything! Go over your childhood & pull from the things you learned & apply them in your life. I'm thankful for every experience I've had! Good or bad! It's a lesson in everything. Cancer changed my life for the better! The experience was bad, but there was a lesson in it all! I'm a vessel being used for good for other people. I miss my grandmother, but I will always love her & carry the things she taught me, forever! Moral of the story is to serve God & go to him for everything! Life will change forever, but we have to be faithful to The Father! Monkey see, monkey don't have to do! I try to be as good as possible. I try to encourage as many people as I can. I made it through & I want other people to do the same. I'm thankful for this life change & I'm happy. This may apply to someone out there. Life may be hard right now, but it does get better. Joy cometh in the morning! There is light at the end of the tunnel. It may not seem like it, but trust me, it is! I couldn't wait to get out of the darkness of Cancer! I thought it took forever, but my family & friends tell me how quick the process was. I say process, because it was. Cancer didn't have me! I fought like hell to get out of darkness! It was very hard & depressing, but I sought God & he delivered me out of the darkness & healed me! I prayed everyday! I listened to a healing scripture cd everyday. I believed in a healing! I confessed it everyday! The Devil was very busy during that time. Some days I was discouraged! I saw my grandmother saying fight! I couldn't give up & that's when I realized that I was in a process of healing & being made whole by the father! Hold on & fight! Give it all you have! I don't care if you don't have faith, you better dig deep within & find it! God wants us all well & happy! All you need is faith! God will do the rest! Please, believe in a higher power & know that he is real! Are you ready for life's change? I'll leave you with this scripture, Psalms 34:4, I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Have a Blessed Day & Love to all!!!
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